So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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