Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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