Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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