yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize