So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
