Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
