names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
