there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
