Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
