Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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