im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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