If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
