Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.