Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.