i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You were trust falling into bushes