I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.