I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
