She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
