I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
