Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
