I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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