Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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