Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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