Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
