If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You were trust falling into bushes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
