a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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