I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
