He is an equal opportunity slut.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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