does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
