i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
