i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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