I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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