i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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