If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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