well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
