We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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