just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
