i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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