His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
