foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
A+ Viking dick
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize