We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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