i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
