1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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