you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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