I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
