the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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