Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
