smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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