i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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