I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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