well I can't set my house on fire every night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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