one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
