Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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