I think i peed on brittanys purse
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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