last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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