i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Randomize