Where is the hickey?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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