how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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