she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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