we should wear snuggies to the strip club
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
