I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
