Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
