I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
