They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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