hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
