new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There r osticjed everywhere
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
