Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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